Oh my golly its Augustttt.. where does my time go? This morning I went into work to discuss some things with Suela we worked on a Hypertension Flyer then once we were getting some momentium going it was coffee break time of course. I thought well it's Friday, why not? (Because usually I try not to do coffee's during work hours because WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING RIGHT? HA, but I never want to offend her.) We were going to meet one of her friends from grade school who lives in Greece. My coffee turned into a three hour discussion about life. (He spoke English) I found it so interesting all his opinions about Americans and let me tell you they weren't compliments. You could say he didn't like them and didn't understand why Albanians love Americans so much. I wasn't in the least bit offended because honestly his reasoning was something I couldn't agrue with. In the middle of our coffee he stopped what he was saying and said I don't get you. I said I don't understand. He said you are so different, everything about you, you smile all the time, laugh, and I have to say you changed my mind about Americans. This just showed me how important it is to give people the time here and really show them what were about. And I may not represent America as a whole, but I am American and today I changed his mind and its important to realize what you represent in all you do and its important to want to show people that. And in no ways do I want to toot my horn because if you know me you know I could care less, but what I do care is that from just talking and taking the time with someone he changed his mind. That is so powerful to me. He still doesn't understand why I would give up California for this, for what? I told him that the grass ISN'T always greener on the other side and yet they may never understand, but I am gaining so much more than I could ever imagine every single day. We talked about wages and how people here don't make enough to have the life they want for example Suela makes about 200 dollars a month and she is a Nurse. She went to school and is going back for more. And this is a good pay here in Albania. They also told me that I am only here for two years and its ok to be poor for two years, but after that I will want to go home because the life here is exhausting and who would want to live this way. That broke my heart because I thought, "Are they right?" Do I take comfort in knowing that yeah I will live like them for two years, but after this I know I can go home and they know that too. I wish they would truly know what Albania has done to me and they will see that I hope because I don't feel that way. But they are right, it's exhausting the way they live and to raise a family I can't imagine the way they struggle I can only listen. Reality checkkkkk.


Today on my attempt for my three hour run was ruined. I literally couldn't run the last hour something was the mattter. This was a bit frustrating and I am upset with myself because I really wanted to push it this morning, but something was off. So instead I got to walk home forrrrrr a long time. But anyways I wanted to let you know why I adore Albanians first off I needed water desperately so I decided to go into a local and ask for a bottle of water. About after 5 minutes of me trying to explain in shqip if I could have some water and next time I will bring them some money. Once she understood that I wanted water she yelled at the boy saying, "Kuptoy!" Which means she understood me. And after that almost a half hour from home the man that always applauds me when I run stopped me to give me some water and an apple. Really? Who does that! I mean I probably looked like death and they felt bad for me, but still I was blown away at how nice they were this morning on my walk home. Just maybe I was meant to walk home this morning...


Oh my.. What a week.. and wait... oh.. its Monday. Sometimes my world seems to be all over the place like it feels right now.. so many things going on, so many expectaions, worries, and things to do that I can't breath. Hustle and bustle of life and getting wrapped up in our own issues sometimes a little reminder to breathe is what is needed in the most quiet ways. Tonight when I got home from camp after being exhausted with a million things on my to do list I knew for my well being I needed to go out and run.. so I was ready after a pep talk to even get out the door today, yes it was one of those days equipped with my favorite tool my i-pod ready to run and think. Hmmm.. what happens right when I start to run.. my ipod turns off. I really wanted to go home because I need my music but today on my run I think someone wanted to talk and thats what I did. Andddd it felt good! This week has been a busy one, but who wouldn't count there blessings of being busy in Albania.. shoot!! This week I worked with some counselors at a camp for the Youth Center. I have got to know the ladies that run the center. They have meetings every Friday night which is just about five minutes from my house and through that organization I have met some really awesome young kids. So this week I had the chance to be apart of there camp. It was held about 40 minutes away from Fier near the Sea. Kids were broken up into teams, I was with team 'Eclipse' (Yup they too, have twilight fever!) and we worked on promoting students, teaching them how to be leaders, lectures, exercises on the beach and of course enough time at the end of the day to have some circle dance. The man who lead the physical activities was a Director at a school and told me everyday how he was upset that growing up he was forced to learn Russian because now there was an American and he can't even speak with me so he said it was his duty to buy me coffee. He was so great ready to go everyday in his speedo. This week I had also been asked by a lady from Vlore, who works with World Vision to give a presentation in a village about Environment. She asked me a week ahead of time, yes this is preparation in Albania. And at first I was so hesitant and I told her to call me the next day and I would let her know my schedule. And in reality I was just scared to give a presentation. She called me the next day explaining what she wanted and such and I followed with all my questions and doubts and she said, "Kristen! What are you so afraid of!" I laughed and said I just don't want to disappoint you and I want to do a good job. She said you will now just come to Vlore this week. But still in reality this was something big for me and I was making it a big deal. I thought what do I know about Environment to offer to these kids, but then I said I just have to offer them what I know. I worked and stressed about this all week preparing for it every night thinking what would be of value for these kids to take away. I tried to make it interactive, but educational of course. Ok so comes Wednesday and I was gearing up for my presentation for Thursday and what happens power and water goes off. Yup it would. So not only did I have someone at my house who I felt extremely bad for because all this was happening. And no power. The thing was I wasn't finished going over my information, hadn't showered, and didn't write down the directions or have the number to get to the place. So ok.. I thought this always happens and it will come on sometime today? Right? NO. ha. It didn't until Friday. So I went to sleep.. ( well more like I stayed awake waiting to hear my fan turn on because that would be my sign that the power is on and .. it didn't) I was up at five thirty, put my make up on outside and found a furgon after an hour. The whole time over there I just prayed that hopefully she will call me and let me know where to go, hopefully my presentation will run smoothly with what I have and to not let the circumstances around me change my attitude. And when I got there even though everything had gone wrong I just walked. I walked to the center of the city and then I got a call. Persi had called me and said she would pick me up. I couldn't believe it. Because honestly I thought I had just made a trip all the way over there and would have to turn back around because I had no contacts. We traveled about a half an hour to a hotel in a village outside of town. I helped some of the ladies set up the room and get ready for the kids. All in all everything went amazing. I could not have asked for a better response. And she was happy with me which made it that much better. On my furgon ride home I thought how silly I was for getting so worked up over this and thinking that I wasn't capable. Because I was. And all she wanted was some help and even if I think I am not qualified for the most time in their eyes they appreciate everything you do and for that I am thankful. It was my first real taste of giving a lesson alone and it was scary, but now I know I can do it and its not a big deal. Sometimes you just have to do it.... Just go for it.... even when you doubt yourself.. God has his hand in all things.


Suela and Kristen's Day Out.. woopppp
I am so proud of my Counterpart and her desire to want to learn and help. I went with Suela to Tirana to pick up her Masters that she has been working on for five years and do some other things in the hospitals. She called me ahead of time of course (NOT) asking me if I could accompany her because she thought it would be fun. I said why not lets do this and when I told her I could go she was thrilled. She told me that her Mom had asked if she could come, but she said that she didn't want her to come because it wasn't the same as if I came because as Suela always says, "She wants to make fun with me" Which means she wants to have a good time with me and thats what usually happens with the two of us. Sometimes I forget that she is in her thirties because we act like we have know eachother our whole lives.. we just have that unbelieable connection that I am incredicibly blessed by everyday. So our trip consisted of waiting in lots of lines for Suela to get her Diploma, lots of coffee's with all her friends, pizza at 1 in the morning, and our attempt to try and go dancing, but none the less we know how to have a good time together. She also thought it was pretty funny when I showed up with my rolling suitcase (it was mini) she said we were going for one night. I told her I thought it was funny that she fit everything in her purse!! As we met up with a lot of her friends I began to see the many faces that they all put on. The ones that they put on to be strong. Just when you think someone has it all together behind those smiles are stories of heartache. I would think that after hearing the same story over again it would lose its impact on me, but no everytime I hear this it breaks my heart even that much more and wonder why do I get to live the life I do when they are so stuck. ( I am not going to go into details of these womens lives, but they ARE SO STRONG) Sometimes I wonder if I could do what they do and go out into the world and put that smile on. I pray for them all...


This is how amazing Suela is.. she knew I had a tummy ache this morning.. so I got a phone call at night and it was her and her boys. They wanted to say goodnight and hoped that I would feel better :) Ohhh how I love them...


YES YES I GOT TO SEE LINDSAY!!! It had been 6 months since I had seen my older sister and our reunion of two hours was just what I needed :) I can't describe how much she understands me.. and just from the way I say something she knows me and for that I love her because she really knows me and my heart and supports ME and I MEAN REALLY DOES. Such an encourager. Anyways we got on a topic that I find very interesting because I am dealing with the other side of the spectrum of productivity over here. We were discussing from an American standpoint the need to be productive, be busy, have a schedule, and in some ways want recognition for all of it. But why? Why do we need to be recognized for the things we do? Why do we value a to do list and if you can't accomplish it by the end of the day then some how you are of less value. Don't get me wrong I believe in having goals and being driven, I just hate that we feel we need that recognition from a to-do list to feel like we have done something that we are of some value because of the things we did that day. I don't like that. I have only realized that through my time here and living among nothing but a slow paced life. A life that has opened a new way of thinking.. that maybe they have it right, that just maybe life should be lived at a pace where you can walk everywhere, have time to think, be late to things because you were having a coffee, and just live life and be present. There is no way that I can measure my productivity because if I did from an American standpoint somedays I might want to cry. Because in the beginning somedays a big day would be going out and visiting with the people, getting my groceries, or making dinner. And to me it was a good day! I have learned to not place so much value upon how many things I can accomplish in one day because somedays my list is very small, but I place value in the relationships here and what I can do for them. It's a hard lesson to learn when you want to come here pen and paper ready to work, but then your brought back to reality when you show up and they first want to have a coffee for an hour. That's when you just let go....