Old People Home

There are certain aromas that are so overwhelming when you leave that place it's as if it has followed you home and you can't wash it off. You can't wash it off of your body or wash it out of your mind. (Some you wish you could wash off, but no matter what you do or how hard you scrub it's right there everyday and others you want to do whatever you can to savor that smell and memory) Last week I had an experience such as this which will forever be engraved in my mind. An experience that you walk out of which leads to many questions. ( Or maybe, that's just me) I walk into the building trying not to pull my sweater over my mouth because the overwhelming smell of urine that surrounded me. Forget everything you know about Old People Homes the way they should be treated with a certain respect and be comforted with things such as a clean bed, clean clothes, attention and care. I had been wanting to go to the Old People Home ( that's what its called!) for a while now and finally had the opportunity to do so. I spent my morning with three people that gave me a glimpse of their world. People always tell me things like, "You shouldn't be going into situations like that you're to sensitive it will just make you upset." I think to myself well what if everyone talks like that and avoids everything where pain surrounds them because its to difficult for them.(FOR THEM! Well I say wake up because this life is not about you.) I don't want to be naive about the world I live in, I want to know about it and do something. I would rather go through my life with my heart tattered on my sleeve because I saw things than have a heart that is kept safe and comfortable, but never felt anything. ( Yup, I just went off again. Ha.. I like to think it's the compassion that stirs so deep in me it comes out whenever I can talk) I sat with two blind men and the woman that accompanied me that day. We brought byrek and tangerines to give them a taste of something that we knew they would enjoy. As I entered the room both men were situated on their beds with their few belongings that they had to their names. They were having a conversation as we walked in and tried to find the right time to interrupt them. The woman introduced me and both Men held onto my hand for sometime just holding it. They would fell my wrist and rub my hand. Trying to get a sense of me. I then sat on the bed next to the men and listened to their conversations. No translations were going on so I just picked up what I could. I sat there for an hour just taking it all in. Trying to hold it together for an hour in their world. I couldn't help, but think this is the world they live in every single day. Day in, day out. And just for one hour I was getting a glimpse of it. Was that even fair for me to feel that way when I had just entered their world for one hour. I watched these men try to eat their food drop it on the floor. I would immediately go to the ground and pick it up for them. But who does that when I am not there? Why isn't there someone in there watching them? Where is everyone? We then headed to another room. We opened the door to hear moaning. The constant moaning that never stopped. The woman went right in front of this man grabbed his hands kissed them and asked what was the matter. I couldn't even sit down because I didn't know what to do. So I just stood there and prayed. This man was overflowing with emotions and words. He began to say how he is going to die any time now and no one in here cares about him. This was all he would mutter out with the other moans that came through his lips. Your heart can't help but break when listening to this man pouring out his heart. All you can do is be there and listen. Let him know you will be back to see him. Some were suffering from health issues and others were able to carry on conversations. There was a variety of health conditions in that place. Different degrees of severity. Rooms were filled with maybe three or four people. The ride we had back was one that was reflective on that place, but also on the roles we all should be playing as human beings. The thing that hits me most about this is the lack of hope that sits with these people. ( Maybe they all don't feel that way, but the people I had interacted with displayed this message very clear.) I don't get upset about them being old because this is the cycle of life and we all have to come to terms with this at some point in our lives, but the lack of hope that they express shatters me in a million different ways. The lack of hope that they have about their life and the people that surround them. Maybe sometimes I wish I was more of a realist who could just see this as the way things end, but I believe that even when you are old you deserve to have hope in something and be treated with a certain amount of dignity. Why is that so hard? Why can't people just treat people with care? Because you know what, one day we all will be at that place and we should all care. But maybe that's wishful thinking. We should never forget about people just because they are a certain age or have certain issues. This is something I will continue do and will continue to go there because everyone deserves time. If it's visiting I can do, then I will do it. I wish people would understand the impact they can have on someone's life if they would actually just spend time with people. Just stop for a second. When you step out of a place like that it puts things in perspective and sometimes we all need a taste of reality. Reality is what we all need.