5-24
The week is winding down and PST is almost over with our Swearing event on Thursday. I can't believe that this time has finally come to an end. Before I ever came here I thought of the time with the host families as this time of eternity and some how it just slipped out of my hands which I can see so clerly as it all is coming to an end. Which I think most people always see things so clearly after something is finished or ended, but I want to also take this knowledge and remember that in my head two years may seem like an eternity to be away from all the things that are familiar to me I want to take full advantage of this time because I know this time just like everything in life it will end. So as this week is filled with many activities, emotions, and thoughts its also a good time to reflect on everything! Time is great for all of that. To really see things when all your left with is time. Time to think and discover.

Yesterday was my first day away from home with my host Mamai and Sister! It was an absolute perfect day with the two of them! My Mom is apart of World Vision so they hosted an event in Kruje a city about two hours away. There was two charter buses filled with kids from neighboring towns that don't have the opportunity to get out and travel. It was a field trip. We walked around the city, toured a muesum, had lunch at an amazing hotel and circle danced for about two hours. I was blown away at my Mom because she grabbed my hands of a room filled with teenagers and we circle danced, but what surprised me more was that we stayed out there while 'apple bottom jeans' came on. I asked her if she enjoyed this music and she said YES! It was great! It was one of those moments that you have that you can actually step back while your in that moment and think, " I am completely satisfied with my life right now." We finished the afternoon off with some dancing, pizza, beer, and ice cream. It couldn't have gotten any better. On the two hour ride home which was absoloutley scenic I just kept thinking about all the things that my host Mom was. She was just a great person to learn from and I can't say this anymore than I do, but I admire her courage and strength to do everything she does for her family and I mean everything. She will stay in her house day after day doing the duties of the house and never complain. I am blessed to have the examples that I do not only here in Albania, but at home.

Today I also got to talk to Jonathan on skype which I am convinced is the best technology out there because it allows distance to never get in the way. I love you brother. The afternoon was a great one because I got to talk to him as he was getting ready for school and fill him on my life here as he did the same. He had to remind me of the time that had gone by since I last was with him in Philly. And it just blew my mind because I really couldn't believe that it has been this long since I got on that flight in Philly. I am so thankful for my brother. I am thankful that he is constant in my life. I remember when he went away for college and my parents, ali and I dropped him off in Berkeley. That day will always be so clear in my head because it was one of the hardest days for me. I still remember roaming the streets of Berkeley and getting so sick to my stomach. I spent half that trip in the bathroom because I was sick, but mainly because my nerves had taken over me and I wasn't ok with the fact that he was leaving. That year that he went off to college was one of my hardest years because he wasn't there, but it was probably the first times in my life where I was being stretched in so many ways. I knew things would never be the same, he would probably never come back and live at home, but I learned that all this wasn't bad that I had to make my own. I know I have point to this story and I think its that I have always held my brother close to my heart and he has an extreme impact on my life and even though we don't live in the same city and haven't since he left for college I am thankful he is there. Things will always change and people will always move on, but it doesn't mean they still can't be there.

I also got to chat with my parents before they headed to work which is always a riot. Dad always greets me with a smile (well I am pretty sure we all know that there is never a time when Dad is not smiling!) and most of the time I just want to break through that screen and give them a hug! Dad was filling me in on everyone and also giving me the stats on the Suns, which I love! LETS GO SUNS!!!!! My dad sends me quarter updates to my emails which are a riot. I swear he was meant to be a sports commenter, so much knowledge it blows my mind! Then my lovely Mother graced me with her presence as she got ready for work! It's always nice to know that I have such supportive and uplifting parents. I can count on my hand the times I remember them ever being in a bad mood. This is something I have taken on because there is no need to complain or be in a bad mood about life. The little time that I have had with my parents has been great and I look forward to having wi-fi soon so we can have weekly skype dates! Now I have one more sister to get ahold of...Lindsay!!!! Then I will feel complete!

5/25
So after one of our last days of training in Elbason I decided to come home early and make cookies with the family. Before I headed home I went to the local store and picked up some items to make an albanian rendition of chocolate cookies. (Susan, my future site mate was so kind to share her receipe that she had shared with her family!) I wasn't to sure how the whole cookie thing was going to go first off because we all know I do not cook and I didn't have some of the ingredients. (Ha) All I knew is that we were going to have some fun learning about Cookies!

5/26
Thanks for calling me Dad, I really appreciated hearing your voice.

5/27
Is it really real? Did those months just pass me by and now I want more time here. As I lay here in bed knowing it's my last night in Thane I can't help to want more time. More time. Today was a roller coaster day of emotions as all 50 of us volunteers were sworn in and now we are all officially Peace Corps Volunteer. It was a great morning where we had a ceremony that honored us volunteers, the host families, and all the people that made this happen. We all sat on stage and faced our host families. It was just a great moment to reflect on how far we had come and it was all the people in front of us that really made this all happen.( In my mind there is no doubt that I didn't wish or want my real family to be there. I wanted to see their faces. All of them.) Our families were so proud of us waving at us constantly clapping and smiling. After the ceremony we had a little meet and greet with the families and volunteers. It was a great time to show the families that we appreciated everything they have shown us. This was a huge deal for my family ( My Mom, dad and with special permission I got to have Julie come because I wanted her there she will forever here on out be a sister to me.) to come to Elbason take time out of their busy days and just come for the morning. I was so happy to just have them there it made it all that more special. I hung out in Elbason for the afternoon with some of the volunteers as we celebrated our day! I then returned home for one last night in Thane. Most volunteers wanted to head out today, but it was all so much to handle that I didn't want to add luging around all my luggage and being rushed. Well the real reason I didn't leave today was because first my family won't let me leave ha. They said that I couldn't go yet because all my laundry needed to be washed which was true and I have to stay because My Dad and Mom wanted to drive me to Fier to make sure I was safe. I am incredidbly lucky and I mean that. They always want to make sure that I am ok. Yesterday when I sat on the porch with my grandma she started to cry because she knew I was leaving tomorrow, ah man I don't know how I am going to handle them dropping me off tomorrow morning. I also don't know why this is getting to me more than I was when I left home a few months back. I think I had prepared myself so much before coming here and I wouldn't allow myself to get upset before I left because I knew if I did I would be a mess and not want to get on the plane, but I had to, I had to pull it together and for some reason this place has totally taken that away from me. I don't care if I need to pull it together if I am upset about leaving then that is ok if I really care for someone here then I show it right then and there. I am closing one chapter of my journey as a Peace Corps Volunteer and I am opening up another in Fier. I will always be as my little brother says, "Kristen Nicole Richina Bardhi" Yes I will.

Things this place has taught ME:
love big always, there is no other way
what matters most- relationships with family/close ones
to give, give, give
that their problems in my eyes are nothing that will hold them back
simplicity is the most beautiful thing
a different way of thinking
examples of who I WANT to be

Things I will MISS:
Family time that is constant
All the bread..well all the food
Julie holding my hand and walking me to class
Andrea and all our little secrets and play time
All our awkward language barriers that ended in laughter
Sitting on the porch with the family for hours and just taking it all in

and just having a family.

6/8/10

I know it has been a while since I have given updates, but there has been a lot of settling going on here in Fier. Adjusting to my new apartment, my work schedule or lack of and just trying to find my place here. With my personality I have these standards that are just ridiculous and I am trying to tell myself its not real to have these expectations of mine so I am trying to take it slow and take it all in. With the help of the Granatas who introduced me to a missionary couple who live in Erseke who then introuced me to a couple here who are missionaries from Germany, I now have been going to a church called, Rruge E Pages. ( Road of Peace) They have a few bible studies during the week which I am looking forward to. God is good, he will always provide.

What made me happy today:
Buying a candle at the Euromarket
I sat with Suzana ( a local duchan owner) and she invited me into her store and we watched Marichui ( Spanish soap opera) for an hour!

6/10/10
So today went as a followed, productive in every way.. Not.. who am I kidding? If I have learned anything since my time in Fier it is grasping the idea that my normal idea of a productive day should go out the window because if I go to work that is productive in itself. I have had more time which I saw as a scary thing, but now I am learning to appreciate it because thats how it is. I have so much time, but yet the days are passing me by. Today I went into work and had prepared some information on some project ideas for the community which completely got thrown out the window. I am definitely faced in a hard position. I have this outstanding counterpart who will do anything to work and gives all her time to be at work, but sometimes there is no guidance and they just do what they want. Suela is a Nurse within some schools in Fier so her primary goals are working with these schools and doing lessons within them. I am more than excited to do that, but I also want to do some big projects and outreach community. As a volunteer they are my primary work, but I have the choice of branching off if it doesn't work. I feel that no matter what I owe Suela and the people at the Public of Health a chance to want to work. I have nothing but time and right now I will give them. I am learning patience very quickly when work may only last two hours. So anyways as I was saying I went into work and presented an idea for a Blood Drive in the Fier Community, but it got shot down, but I am not giving up. I believe nothing is impossible somethings just take time. That's all. After work (well it was 11 in the afternoon) Suela's brother-in-law picked us up and took us to Suela's husbands restaurant to have a cafe. It was beautiful and not to far from the city. The restaurant was great they said its usually held for weddings and they were having one on Sunday so I might stop by on Saturday and check it out. After our cafe time we got dropped off at the 'local mall' well thats what I call it, it kinda resembles a mall minus the Nordstroms ha. We went into some stores and Suela tried on some new tops. That afternoon I went to the Murialdo School- A Catholic Italian School. They held a meeting that night for people who were interested in being a counselor during there two week camp session. Its at the end of June. I am so excited! The kids are great there, yesterday I went over there for two hours and played some soccer with a few boys. Its about 25 minute walk from my house not to far. Then I made my way back to my apartment and of course stopped by Suzana and her and I plus the other local ladies that now join us for our talks. Yesterday Suzana brought her daughter to work. Her name is Lorena and she is 18 and speaks pretty good English. And today her son came who is 16. As I sat there with Suzana tonight I couldn't help but think how different life is here. I would never just go sit with a store owner outside and visit for an hour everyday. People sit outside there shops and it really is heartbreaking. They tell me all the time, no work here. It's sad. The least I could do is visit with the people. Suzana is going to be someone I remember forever. We even have our 'secrets' already. Today she told me something and then she said, "Secret" I said of course. ( Precious)

Oh and today at the school I had a lady come up to me and in no particular order this is what she told me..( this was in shqip of course, I understood a little then someone translated!) She told me I was absolutely beautiful that I needed to be on tele-nevela, but that maybe my thighs were a little big and I should eat more fruit (ha people are obsessed with weight) and that I sounded like Lauren Bush. Yup. Things like this are are a daily accorance.

6/17/10
Permet...Permet..Permet

So I just returned from a few days in Permet, a near by town to stay with Laura and Aimes. We were there for a health session lead by a previous volunteer, Catherine, who is filled with energy! It was my first trip really away from Fier and it was an adventure. I had a rough start. I got on a bus around 830 in the morning that my counterpart, Suela's husband had dropped me off because they didn't want me to walk with all my stuff. Anywho... I am on this bus and its about a 3 and half hour trip around the mountains. So first I got extremely sick, threw up. Was feeling a mess probably because of the weather no air condition and rough roads. After that I was sitting next to a man with his hands down his pants ( yup! That happened) So my reaction was to move and get away. I got up and fainted. I was a mess. They were freaked out and stopped the bus. I got out for a half an hour and just tried to breathe. I just really couldn't imagine that all this was happening and I just wanted to see Laura's face. I got back on that bus and just prayed that was the end of the bad bus ride. An hour later Laura met me with some cold water. I had a horrible headache and fever the rest of the day, but luckily it past and everyone was really great about it. At least I will always remember my first bus ride.

Catherine is an amazing woman and encourager. She wanted to put this session together to get some of us volunteers pumped up and collaborate. It's what I needed in a time where you feel so unclear about your role here and if you will ever make a change in a country that needs so much help. There was about 8 health volunteers that gathered there for some delicious food and collaboration. Catherine was such a great hostess. Just like a Mom, making sure everyone was satisfied. We also had some time to enjoy some world cup!

Our session sparked some new ideas! We had decided to set some time lines because we wanted to follow through with our ideas. We were all going to make some public service announcements. We want to do this because no matter what when we leave, volunteers will have material that can always be used. So with more to come I will keep you posted. I feel really passionate about domestic abuse so that is what I am considering right now. We wanted to do things and put awareness out there that they don't have access to or understand.

Trying to find a place in all that you do. It's like anytime you get up and move you have to start over. It's adjusting. I look forward to those days at work when people can actually take my ideas serious and want to go with them. Sometimes it's hard to just get people to believe they can do things, because with anything here at least for the women they get no recognition for anything they do and they need to know that they matter. But what has been on my heart is Ephesians 2:12, where it talks about how God came here before you to pave this road he has come beforehand. ( Thank goodness!) I am not in the least worried ( well ok I am), but at the end of the day I have to really let go of all of that and know that God was here before me. Everyday is just another day that I have the chance to talk to someone and encourage.

The weather here is torture. All I do is melt and sleep with frozen water bottles or on the tile floor because its cooler.

Andrea is coming tomorrow for more adventures :)